Take Some Time, Recharge; Get Absurd.

I'm feeling charged up (at half past one) for the first time in weeks. I've been taxed by the conditions of living in the big city (the biggest) with the less attractive facets being barely able to make ends meet-- topped with a smattering of looking for more work and staying productive. Quite the parfait.

I recently discovered a trove of information on virtually every trope in fiction: plot devices, dialogue stand-bys, categorizations of characters ranging from the miniscule to the megalomaniacal. All the rules organized, indexed and catalogued. It's a wealth to pick through and I've been doing exactly that. Tonight I hit on something truly inspired in the realm of the absurd. Take actions that are outside your scope, act like they will succeed-- despite the overwhelming lack of evidence to support you-- and enjoy your success. If you succeed.

It seems absolutely revitalizing to even give it a moment's consideration. A lime-flavored smack in the face with a herring. Think about it, throw your hands in the air with a cheerful "Fuck it!" and just take a plunge.

Short of unemployment and the unattractive circumstances that would accompany it; at present it seems I have little to lose by taking a few more risks. Risks are what got me to New York in the first place. For the longest time my problem (well, one of them anyway) was that I've been holding back. Limiting what I say, limiting what I try to do, putting blinders on where I can try to go with my work, with everything. This could end up being complete candy floss, but who cares? It's what I'm feeling right now.

All any of us have are moments. Opportunities to make a decision and execute change. The status bloody quo has brought me to a place of soul-gnawing inadequacy; or at best tepid mediocrity. Temp jobs. No plays being done in months. No voice-over work. I need to be trying harder.

Okay. Sounds good. Let's do that then.

Outstanding.