Chock Full O' What??
Right on. The CONSTANTLY rising gas prices have got me a bit steamed this morning, so I need a target on which to vent my growing reserve of bile. I found my victim.
Chock Full O’ Nuts Brand Coffee recently began airing a radio ad with a tango/Latin beat song. My guess is that they’re trying to make the coffee seem sexier, or something. But coffee’s not really meant to be sexy. It’s meant to be hot, bitter, and able to wake you up when you put it to your lips (not unlike an old ex-girlfriend of mine! Hi-O!!). And the coffee comes in a bright yellow can, with stripes of green and black. Oooh, that’s hot. That’s mistake number one.
If you’re trying to sell sex appeal (or anything resembling it), I don’t think your product should be chock full o’ anything. The words ‘Chock’, ‘Full’ and ‘Nuts’ don’t exactly inspire that feeling of randiness their music is aspiring to. El Mistake-o numero dos.
Then there’s the song itself (playing way too often, in my opinion). “Chock Full O’ Nuts is that heavenly coffee / Heavenly Coffee / Heavenly Coffee / A better coffee a millionaire’s / *Awkward Line break* / money can buy!” Is the singer saying 'can'? Probably not. It’d make a weak amount of sense if he said 'money can’t buy', but when you’re singing in a hurry the last consonants on words occasionally get dropped, or cut off. Too bad it’s an important one. Strike three! Yer outta there.
Even though the player has left the field… we’re not finished with him. Basically CFO’N is claiming to be the best coffee money can buy... Making a statement like that takes some cojones; which admittedly, they’re chock full of.
But it isn’t the best coffee money can buy. I can think of plenty of better-tasting coffees I’d prefer to the stuff that comes in a can color-coded to match the bile I’m spewing on the product they’re trying to sell! Maxwell House. Folger’s. Ritazza. Taster’s Choice. In a survey (granted, taken in 2001) of the top ten most recognized brands of coffee, Chock didn’t even make the list.
And it doesn’t need pointing out that I’m giving them essentially free advertising time… good thing I’m not speaking well of ‘em. Chock: You can do better. Much better. Shoppers: You can do better. Much better. I'll drink to that.
Chock Full O’ Nuts Brand Coffee recently began airing a radio ad with a tango/Latin beat song. My guess is that they’re trying to make the coffee seem sexier, or something. But coffee’s not really meant to be sexy. It’s meant to be hot, bitter, and able to wake you up when you put it to your lips (not unlike an old ex-girlfriend of mine! Hi-O!!). And the coffee comes in a bright yellow can, with stripes of green and black. Oooh, that’s hot. That’s mistake number one.
If you’re trying to sell sex appeal (or anything resembling it), I don’t think your product should be chock full o’ anything. The words ‘Chock’, ‘Full’ and ‘Nuts’ don’t exactly inspire that feeling of randiness their music is aspiring to. El Mistake-o numero dos.
Then there’s the song itself (playing way too often, in my opinion). “Chock Full O’ Nuts is that heavenly coffee / Heavenly Coffee / Heavenly Coffee / A better coffee a millionaire’s / *Awkward Line break* / money can buy!” Is the singer saying 'can'? Probably not. It’d make a weak amount of sense if he said 'money can’t buy', but when you’re singing in a hurry the last consonants on words occasionally get dropped, or cut off. Too bad it’s an important one. Strike three! Yer outta there.
Even though the player has left the field… we’re not finished with him. Basically CFO’N is claiming to be the best coffee money can buy... Making a statement like that takes some cojones; which admittedly, they’re chock full of.
But it isn’t the best coffee money can buy. I can think of plenty of better-tasting coffees I’d prefer to the stuff that comes in a can color-coded to match the bile I’m spewing on the product they’re trying to sell! Maxwell House. Folger’s. Ritazza. Taster’s Choice. In a survey (granted, taken in 2001) of the top ten most recognized brands of coffee, Chock didn’t even make the list.
And it doesn’t need pointing out that I’m giving them essentially free advertising time… good thing I’m not speaking well of ‘em. Chock: You can do better. Much better. Shoppers: You can do better. Much better. I'll drink to that.
posted by Casey Jones @ 9/01/2005 08:51:00 AM
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