If I Could Write My Own Copy:

Ah. Good day, friends. In a hurry to get someplace in the DC area? Feel like traveling over forty miles an hour just beneath the earth’s crust? Then please: Do consider the Metro: Quick. Convenient. Affordable.

Pray, do be considerate of your fellow journeymen on the mildly subterranean trek ‘neath the Nation’s Capitol. Keep all hands, feet, and personal belongings well away from the doors, as the slightest obstruction may cause frustrating delays.

Godspeed, travelers. Godspeed.

Doors Closing.