Find A New Tune, Find It Fast

Afternoon, folks. I hope your day’s treated you well. Mine’s been pretty decent, and I’m looking forward to The Crucible, tonight. Great show, and David’s in the cast. (Break a leg, David!) That’s later, though. This is right now.

Over the last year, I’ve been striving to take a more active role, just in my own life. By no virtue greater than repetition; certain habits, opinions, and attitudes have engrained themselves pretty stubbornly in my frame of mind. Some of them I can’t do a damned thing about. Others are much closer to being in my control.

I no longer indulge in regret. The choices I’ve made (and will make) shape who I’m going to be in the future, as well as who I am now. I like me. Couldn’t always say that. Yes, I've screwed up in the past, but there isn’t a single thing I can do to change any of that, so fretting over it isn’t going to accomplish a damned thing. So why bother?

I’m more interested in today. I’m being more careful with my money, getting rid of debts rather than buying crap I don’t need. I’m exercising. Hell, I’ve managed to lose 15 pounds, and that feels great.

As much as certain things are falling into place, (and I don’t want to diminish them in any way) there are other aspects of myself that, so far, I have been completely unable to alter. There are people that I can’t help but see in frames of mind that, frankly, no longer fit them. The ‘emotional camel’ that I am, I’m working (and I mean working) at letting go of that unrealistic view.

The best part about this problem? When it’s fixed, when it’s really fixed, the only person it can benefit is yours truly. …I’m not there yet. Not by half. But I want to be. The best way to remove that song stuck in my head is to learn a new one. And I’m not the only one who could stand to pick up a new tune…

As the Prayer for Serenity goes, Let me accept the things I cannot change. Okay: Let me accept that my brain just *works* a certain way, and I’m always going to need something to focus on, worthwhile or otherwise. The only alternative is going completely bonkers.

This is what’s on today’s menu, folks. There may be wackiness afoot shortly, but for the time being, this is where I am.

Ciao for now.