Traffic Hilarity Ensues

You know—there are times when I have a tiny moment of fear for the future of our country… and this apprehension stems from the concern that certain people are going to go out and start having babies. And that these babies are going to grow up to be just as smart as their mommas and poppas. **Sarcasm Detector Explodes**

On my drive to work this morning, one street was having work done, evidently involving steel plates. Noting the orange diamond-shaped caution signs, I made sure my eyes were peeled. A man in an orange vest was standing off to the side of the road, with that useful two-sided sign that has ‘Stop’ on one side and ‘Drive Slowly’ on the other. The Stop sign was facing me, or if you want to get specific it was facing my side of the traffic.

I stopped. I stopped abruptly, actually. A minivan two cars back got impatient and pulled around, which I thought was not only rude, but unsafe as the guy was standing there with his- wait. He turned the sign. Not all the way around, just halfway, to show that he wasn’t on duty, and traffic was flowing normally. And he gave me a look like he hadn’t done anything wrong and was actually wondering why I stopped in the first place.

Dude. You have *one* job. That job is to hold a sign that essentially says stop or go. The vest, the helmet, and orange caution signs around sort of put you in charge of traffic; and if it’s not the time to do your job, please try harder not to be doing your job by accident.

I couldn’t help but think of that scene from the Police Academy movie (I forget which one) where the normal-looking cop in glasses is directing traffic during a power outage with glowing batons. A bee gets too close to him and he tries swatting at it… with his glowing batons. Traffic hilarity ensues.

Don’t be that guy, dude. Even through inaction, please don’t be that guy.