I Want to Toss My Cookies

Not feelin’ good. No sir. I’m confident it’s just nerves, this time tomorrow I’ll be stepping on the Metro to head for DC… to audition for the Chicago Shakespeare Company. Scary stuff.

The last two nights, I haven’t been able to get to sleep until almost 2 o’clock. Last night I had the presence of mind to put the restlessness to use, and drilled monologues while I paced. I’m a pacer. I’ve found that it’s easier to memorize lines standing up, since odds are one will be standing up to deliver them, too. I’ve been a pacer ever since.

One of my college friends is auditioning today. I called her phone and told her I was crossing my fingers. I’ve prayed for her, too.

And this is how it goes: Since High School, I’ve never been able to sleep before a big audition, and this one’s the biggest I’ve had in a year. Restlessness, fitful dreams, and a little nausea are par for the course. If nothing else, it reaffirms that I’m in the right line of business, to take it so seriously.

I have my own mantra when it comes to all that nervous energy. At the time of try-outs, I see it as this huge, crushing wave approaching a beach. I have two options: I can let it crush me like a sap, or I can ride on top of it and look pretty good doing it. Most of the time, I’ve managed to hang ten. Tomorrow will essentially be no different a challenge.

And now, for your reading pleasure, my imitation of the Fonz. Aaaaaaaaaay.