Comic "Actor" Vows Never to Work With Gibson

In a move that can be called nothing short of brazen, SNL Alumnus Rob Schneider has vowed never to work with Mel Gibson. This comes only after Gibson's drunken tirade in which he was charged with drinking under the influence and made several deflamatory remarks about Jews.

Schneider failed to point out that he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of working with Gibson before the incident as well.

In a related story, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were treated for bumps and bruises; after falling down in puddles of their own saliva, drooling over the possibilities for lampooning Gibson's inebriated racist tirade.