This Just In-- News That Won't Matter For Very Long

**Marvel Comics' Civil War Spoilers below. Y'all have been warned.**

Well. Turns out that the title-wide fight between Marvel Characters isn't going to be without its major casualties. Captain America is dead. Killed with mundane bullets on courthouse steps.

For about a minute and a half, I'll wager.

Superman? Died. Batman? Crippled. Green Lantern? Went batshit, then died. Jason Todd? Beaten to a pulp then blown up. Bucky, Cap's sidekick? Blown up. Spider-Man? Beaten to death. Magneto? Beheaded. Doomsday? Died, came back, thrown into the end of time. Colossus? Died. Cyclops? Died. Phoenix? Died more times than I can count.

Every single one has made at least one dramatic resurrection.

No major character in the history of comics has ever stayed dead. Certainly none of its heroes. As for the rest? Gwen Stacy died. She was later cloned. Uncle Ben got dragged over from an alternate universe. Foggy Nelson died in a prison stabbing, then showed up in witness protection a few issues later.

Given the trends, I have zero faith in the notion that Captain America will 'stay' dead. It's only a matter of time. I would bet solid money. Any takers on this?