Thoughts.

I rented a movie-- Peaceful Warrior. Film version of the book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a book briefly loaned to me some years ago by the wisest man I know.

I enjoyed it. I liked it. I feel I gained something from it.

Without getting overly poetical or some other such offense, it created as many questions as it indicated it had answers for.

A man seeks to achieve something. He meets someone whose questions reach the core of him, leaving him shaken on several levels. He meets with an accident, leaving him physically broken. Through determination, training and time spent with the asker of said questions; he finds excellence. For different reasons than he started with.

That interests me. The man is asked more or less to shake things up; primarily his life. Once his life is shuffled, he is encouraged to resume the exact same pursuits/activities as before. Happier, more calm, touched with serenity. But he is doing all the same things. And he is enjoying himself more.

I enjoyed this story very much.

I moved to New York. Not only in pursuit of happiness, but to put geographical distance between myself and things that made me sad. I am doing things I enjoy-- writing, creating, etc., but there are times I wonder if I'm doing them for the proper reasons.

Yes, I enjoy doing them (very much so, or I wouldn't do them). In addition, I've wanted to garner some feeling of accomplishment. To accumulate a sense of things done. Finished. Add them to the list.

To what end. Hm? After I achieved these things, how would I feel? What would I be supposed to feel? I can't say, right now.

There is only now. If I take one thing from the experience, I'd like it to be that. There is only now. So I'd better enjoy what I'm doing here.

More to follow.