Mental Flotsam, Mental Jetsam

Because the only thing that beats going crazy is going crazy with somebody else

Monday, November 12, 2007


What follows is... personal, but it still happened and I promised myself when I started this blog I'd report the good things and the bad. This thing is supposed to be about my life. Right?

Yesterday concluded with one of the most frightening experiences of my life. Everything turned out to be okay, but until it was over-- I was going out of my head.

I started going to the gym last week; spending as much time on the exercise bike as anything else. I felt a bit of pain in my groin, and figured it was just... I don't know. It went away on its own. Then it happened again, after the next two gym visits.

Last night I found a lump. I know men are supposed to do regular checks for anything abnormal; but before last night I didn't take it those exams seriously. I did some online research, and jumped in the shower and checked again to be sure. There was definitely something present.

I called my family, and went to the emergency room, sick with worry. My brother wisely advised me not to get ahead of myself, and I tried not to; but it's one thing to hear advice and another to put it to practical use. I was flipping out.

The doctor checked (not a comfortable experience) and believed it was just an inflammation, something called epididymitis. A sonogram confirmed his theory, along with a cyst. Again, not a fun way to kill time.

I made another round of calls to let people know it was nothing that a regimen of antibiotics can't cure. I picked up the prescription this afternoon and will start taking those tomorrow morning. In addition to curing what ails ya, they can also cause diarrhea. Won't that be fun.

It's over now; but I distinctly remember what I was so afraid of. The big 'C'. I started to worry about whether or not I'd ever be able to have kids as a result. I tried not to let those thoughts get too out of hand, but it was still there.

Anyway. One hell of a night.



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