Weird Mood Today
Huh.
I can't remember the last time I had so much going on at once. I'm in rehearsals for a two-man show, I'm putting the finishing touches on Tuxxer before I send him out into the world... I'm tired; which is pretty much the status quo for when it gets hectic.
Rehearsals at night, a full-time day job, finding time at the end of the day to work on the side-projects and spend time with Beth... it's a full plate to be sure.
Tonight, I have the night off from rehearsals. For this, I'm grateful. I don't really have much choice, but to use the time to run lines. They need it, badly. Beth asked me if I wanted to do something fun this weekend.
Finances being what they are (car repair bills, the court date on Tuesday), I said I didn't really think much of going out. Fun has become staying in and recuperating. It sounds like heaven, to me at least. I'm sure it's not the thrilling getaway others might plan for.
I love being busy. I truly do. There are worse things to be in this life than a workaholic. When I'm not onstage, I have to feel like I'm doing something, accomplishing something worthwhile; otherwise I feel like I'm just wasting time. With my newest undertaking, The Mystery of Irma Vep, that feeling has been thrown into question. I've been running myself ragged going back and forth between home and Herndon to rehearse. People said I was crazy for accepting a part that was that far away, I looked at them with some mild resentment (never liked being called crazy), and said it was worth it. It is. It still is. But I'd be lying if I said there haven't been moments of doubt.
I'm busy, yes. In that respect I feel fulfilled and content. But physically, it's taking its toll. I'm also not seeing as much of Beth as I did before the show. That right there is a contributor to my current mood, one of quiet introspection.
I found myself thinking about a letter an ex-girlfriend wrote me, shortly after we had broken up. In the email, she said that she could see me being a success in my chosen field. That I could expect to yield some good returns on the energy and the effort I put into my goals. She also said that I would end up alone for it. It stuck with me. Parting jab from an unhappy ex, or a more or less accurate forecast of things to come? I won't be the judge. Not today, anyway. Meh.
I can't remember the last time I had so much going on at once. I'm in rehearsals for a two-man show, I'm putting the finishing touches on Tuxxer before I send him out into the world... I'm tired; which is pretty much the status quo for when it gets hectic.
Rehearsals at night, a full-time day job, finding time at the end of the day to work on the side-projects and spend time with Beth... it's a full plate to be sure.
Tonight, I have the night off from rehearsals. For this, I'm grateful. I don't really have much choice, but to use the time to run lines. They need it, badly. Beth asked me if I wanted to do something fun this weekend.
Finances being what they are (car repair bills, the court date on Tuesday), I said I didn't really think much of going out. Fun has become staying in and recuperating. It sounds like heaven, to me at least. I'm sure it's not the thrilling getaway others might plan for.
I love being busy. I truly do. There are worse things to be in this life than a workaholic. When I'm not onstage, I have to feel like I'm doing something, accomplishing something worthwhile; otherwise I feel like I'm just wasting time. With my newest undertaking, The Mystery of Irma Vep, that feeling has been thrown into question. I've been running myself ragged going back and forth between home and Herndon to rehearse. People said I was crazy for accepting a part that was that far away, I looked at them with some mild resentment (never liked being called crazy), and said it was worth it. It is. It still is. But I'd be lying if I said there haven't been moments of doubt.
I'm busy, yes. In that respect I feel fulfilled and content. But physically, it's taking its toll. I'm also not seeing as much of Beth as I did before the show. That right there is a contributor to my current mood, one of quiet introspection.
I found myself thinking about a letter an ex-girlfriend wrote me, shortly after we had broken up. In the email, she said that she could see me being a success in my chosen field. That I could expect to yield some good returns on the energy and the effort I put into my goals. She also said that I would end up alone for it. It stuck with me. Parting jab from an unhappy ex, or a more or less accurate forecast of things to come? I won't be the judge. Not today, anyway. Meh.
posted by Casey Jones @ 2/24/2005 03:10:00 PM
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