It Turk Ah Lottel Purple Meeka Gurn

At a party a few weeks ago, Shannon equated every Assassin to a different Muppet.

Squeaky Fromme? Janice. “Fur sure, reelyyy.”

John Hinckley? Gonzo, singing to a photo of Camilla the Chicken.

Sam Byck? Animal! “Nix-on! Nix-on!”

My favorite, however, far and away, has to be who she elected to represent Leon Czolgosz: The Swedish Chef.


Czolgosz, a factory worker, has an impassioned speech about carrying red-hot bottles across a factory room floor. At the party in question, I picked up two wine bottles and went ‘bork’y to demonstrate. Jenna and Andrea were giggling like mad. Good Times.