Mental Flotsam, Mental Jetsam

Because the only thing that beats going crazy is going crazy with somebody else

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's... A Guy Going To Queens!

This. Was. Awesome. I'm riding home on the subway along with my Stage Manager Amy (who can corroborate this); and this particular night I'm wearing a Superman t-shirt. An eight year old boy comes up to me, and asks, "Are you Superman??"

I look at him, and all I can think to say is, "Ssshhh!! Do you want the whole train to know?"

The look in his eyes was priceless. I had to keep this going as long as possible. He points a small finger at me.

"I know your secret identity. You're Cl--"


"Clark Kent!"

I give him a look of exasperation. He is completely undeterred.

Next question: "Where's your cape?"

"At the dry cleaners. It's always getting torn and stuff. Bullet holes..." The boy chimes in.

"You know, you can't keep your cape attached with velcro!"

"I know! I'm always having to tuck it into my tunic. Do you know how many capes I've lost, just flying 60 miles an hour?"

By this time, a good portion of the car was listening in, laughing quietly.

"What are you doing on the train?"

"I'm going home. Oh, great. Now everyone knows I live in Queens. That's fantastic."

"Why isn't your skin blue?"

"Don't be silly. My skin isn't blue, I wear tights."

"Why aren't you wearing your underwear outside your clothes?"

"Because I'm on the subway. I want to meet public decency laws." More snickering.

The kid is buying this hook, line & sinker. Now naturally, I don't look a thing like Christopher Reeve or Brandon Routh. The boy had this solved already.

"Why don't you take your mask off?"

"Well. Kryptonians are all very handsome. I mean come on, my dad was Marlon Brando. I don't want to be a distraction, you know?" This seems to satisfy the boy.

"Can I feel your muscles?"


"Well, I don't think that'd be right. We haven't been properly introduced. I don't know your name, I haven't met your folks..."

He extended his hand. "I'm Noah."

"Noah, I'm Clark. Nice to meet you."

We come to his stop (turns out to be my stop, too). His mom scoots him out the door, giving me a thankful nod.

Simply outstanding.



  • At 11:41 AM, Anonymous TexanNewYorker (Kyleen) said…

    Hilarious. I love kids on the train.

  • At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Mom said…

    Great interplay w/ the kid and equally cool capture of the conversation.
    Gee, will that make you "Uncle Superman", in a couple of weeks?


Post a Comment

<< Home