Love & Circumstance
I recently found out that two good friends of mine, a couple; have broken up. It wasn't over any fight, infidelity or strong disagreement. Simply put, their lives are taking separate paths. One person wishes to leave New York, the other wants to stay. It's as gentle and (for lack of a better word) friendy a break-up as I've ever heard of.
Never the less: Shit.
I find myself thinking about what they're going through. What they're feeling. I've been in remarkably similar circumstances, myself. It was college, and we were very much in love. I was graduating, she had a few years left; and she didn't want me to stay bound to a college town when my life was leading me elsewhere. Also an agreeable, 'friendly' break-up. It hurt like hell.
So, ultimately, what's more important? What we do in life, or who we do it with? The couple in question was one of the happiest I've ever seen, or been lucky enough to know. It didn't stop them from wisely acknowledging that happy as their love life was, career-wise the situation was unfulfilling.
I don't know. I'll be the first to get on a soapbox and proclaim that what you do, your passion in life, is important. Your happiness is dependant on it. Across the street is another soapbox I'll happily mount to shout that a life enhanced by a successful career can seem quite empty without the right person to share it with.
It was hard enough leaving Maryland and loved ones behind to come up to New York. I couldn't imagine how difficult it would have been if I'd been romantically involved with someone at the time; someone that didn't also have plans in the Big Apple.
People choose. Beyond the present and a span of a few years, people choose. They choose their career and throw themselves wholly into its pursuit, its achievment. Do they become successful? Do they harbor regret?
Others choose love, and eventually family. Do they feel the seemingly unanswerable call to do other things?
How lucky they must be that find both. A partner one can share their heart with; and pursue parallel or at least non-opposing dreams. I count my brother as one of the lucky ones. He has a family, he has a career; and the career of his wife, Maggie, in no way opposes his own and vice-versa.
An ex of mine married a man in a profession very similar to her own. So much so that they have been able to even travel and find meaningful work together. Damned lucky.
Learning about my good friends has set my brain bubbling. Re-evaluating. Now I'm here: Beginning something with a girl whose career ambitions in no way resemble my own. I'm keen to see where this goes.
If you're reading this, I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Anyone? Thoughts? Comments? Theories and philosophies?
More to follow.