Never a Pet Owner. Ever.

The good Lord saw fit to bestow us all with certain gifts. For some, it’s physical beauty. For others, it’s being able to turn a handy phrase every now and again. For others, they can look at mathematic equations and see art.

I like to think that I was blessed a strong verbal mind and a facility for performance. In addition, however, I was also bestowed with an allergy to cats and dogs so strong as to put me off ever owning one. Ever.

Last night, I spent some time at my brother’s house. He recently acquired a black cat named Charlie. Charlie is away for a few days, but he certainly left his mark on the house. I went home, showered, got into bed, and still spent the night in allergenic misery. My nose was stuffed so I woke up with a throat that was raw and dry. I was even thirsty in my dreams.

I took some allergy medicine (too much, I think) and look forward to being dehydrated and sniffly the rest of the day. At least it was non-drowsy. Yes, I’m being a pill about the whole thing, waaah. I hate being allergic to pets. I avoid them whenever I can help it. Unfortunately, my best friend’s roommate has a dog, my brother has a cat, my dad has a dog, and another close friend is a dog lover. I don’t visit her home as often as I used to.

I don’t actually hate cats and dogs. I just hate what they do to me. Yes, the upside of having strong allergies is that I rarely get sick, but all it takes is an hour at a family member’s house to get my nose itching and my eyes watering. Urgh.

Short of injections every week for a few years, what’s a guy to do?