When I Am Old
My thanks to you for putting the bug in my ear about this--
When I am Old, I will wander the halls aimlessly, for hours. I will insist on carrying pictures of family with myself in the photos, in case my memory goes and I need proof we know each other. (That is actually something of a fear of mine, in the future: Losing my memory.)
When I am Old, I will wear whatever the hell I want. I will flirt shamelessly with nurses; unless my wife is around. Then I will flirt shamelessly with her. I will entertain other people's grandkids with silly voices, whatever's left to me in my sunset years.
When I am Old, if I happen to pass wind, I will shrug and say aloud, "Whattya want? I'm Old!" I will have dozens of stories about old performances and the like, for anyone who will listen.
When I am Old, I will say the most bizarre things (occasionally on purpose) and chalk it up to Alzheimers. "It keeps ya guessin'." I will have no shortage of cologne to cover up the old-people smell.
When I am Old, I will still have all of my hair, just like my granddad.
When I am Old, I will employ such words as “whippersnapper”, “young’n” and “crazy kids”.
On Wednesdays, I will be French. Or possibly Australian.
When I am Old, I will still have the fedora I have today. Let me go blind and deaf with arthritis in both hands… but Lord, please don't let me lose my sense of humor.
posted by Casey Jones @ 1/17/2006 10:26:00 AM
3 Comments:
At 12:47 PM,
Spitfire said…
Found your blog through the poet-a-tete website. You probably don't remember me. You gave me your poem "Envying the Straw Man" (Still good for a laugh) when I saw you last time. I met you at poet-a-tete in Rockville. You are truly hilarious. I hope you keep your sense of humor too, so you can make other people laugh. On Wednesdays I think I'll be Jamaican.
At 3:22 PM,
mr.stinkhead said…
When I am old, I will use phrases such as "pass wind" instead of "fart" or "toot" or "let one loose" or "cut the cheese" or "I just farted" or "non-discretionary flatuance"
but dear God, I hope I have some years in me before I say "pass wind"
whippersnapper!
At 3:35 PM,
Casey Jones said…
Once again--
Ladies and Gentlemen, my brother. A class act all the way.
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