Ho, Ho, No

Just in time for the holidays, we have startling footage of our beloved Santa Claus behaving in a manner most unsuitable for children.

Kris Kringle was seen shouting into a tape recorder, spewing venom (and bits of tongue on rye) into a cassette recorder before storming off, singing "I Like To Be In America".

As if this were not enough, the self same Pere Noel was later spotted leaving a Washington, DC Burger King in a Ford POS. He was reported to be driving angrily, swerving left and right, and littering on the highway-- a Class C misdemeanor.

This erratic behavior falls well out of the usual activities Old Saint Nick. Brick up your chimneys, kiddies. Santa Claus is coming to town.