Why A Beautiful Woman?
With a mind like a motorized meat grinder (always having to process something), sometimes I get lucky and am able to choose whatever it is I'll focus on for however long it will last.
Today, it's a woman. A striking, memorable woman whom I have seen only once, and spoke to for a few minutes at the most. Yet, here she is, popping up.
I think the fact that I don't know her in person is what prompted this particular flashback. Not really knowing her allows me to analyze a bit. I find a topic ready to ponder behind her arrival.
What is it about extremely attractive members of the opposite sex that drives us bazonkers? Or members of our own sex, if our preference leans that way? It's not something we learn how to process, unlike math or logic or reading. Once puberty hits, it just kicks in. It's a part of the animal psyche that says "Stay close to her."
Yes, but why? It could be any of a number of things. Let's go with the model (ba dum ching?) at hand. This woman was very attractive. Long, curly black locks (not dark brown, black). Cool blue eyes and a warm smile. Creamy skin. Great chest, but a slender figure without being waifish... The woman was healthy. Certainly not one of the near-skeletal supermodels that haunt teen magazines.
Okay. She's attractive. What are the immediate impulses? #1: Gauge woman's physical attributes in less than a second. (It happens. We're guys. We do that.) Check. #2: Check to see if she's married. BINGO. Nice little bauble she's got on her left hand ring finger... well. No point in going to impulse #3.
Beauty is 'important' for a number of reasons. First on the list, it implies health. The better you look, the better shape you're in. The instinct to procreate and have kids, healthy kids, is primal. Finding and identifying positive traits we'd like our children to carry on is one of the main reasons human beings interact in the first place. (It's also why us funny, intelligent people who aren't exactly hard-bodies get to be attractive too, in different ways.)
Another reason it's so important is social standing. Ooh, look at the girlfriend/wife of Bob. Bob's girlfriend/wife is a knock-out. Oh, I wish I were Bob. People would have more respect for me if my girlfriend/wife was that attractive. Why? Because I must be worth something special to have attracted her in the first place. On a half-way related topic, that level of excellence (here accomplished only with a social connection) is a major driving force of motivation for us. To seek that level of excellence for ourselves, in our actions, in our accomplishments, in our prestige. Or, it might just be a motivator for people with low self-esteem. Ya think?
The last (and possibly greatest) factor in the importance of beauty is sex. Not procreation, but gratifying-as-a-drug sex. Sex is a drug, insomuch that it's a temporary positive reaction in the pleasure-center of the brain caused by outside stimulation. Rather than with a needle, a pill, or a glass, it's a drug we provide ourselves with by finding other people to make our own supply with.
Don't believe me? Look at the last time you really wanted it. What did you do to get it? Were you having the equivalent of a nic-fit? Or were you just (pardon the term) jonesing? But sex can also be a healthy, intimate way to express affection for someone you care deeply about. Doesn't make it feel any less good, though. Just a thought...
There is a down-side to beauty, one that frankly drives me up the wall. A person's beauty can somehow make them think they've got cart blanche. They can act like complete assholes or shrews, and get away with it because they're attractive, which might make people more inclined to forgive or ignore their behavior. Or worse, encourage it.
Now, this is not an absolute. I've known several people of considerable beauty who never used it as a tool or an advantage. But these people are out there. Maybe it's that I'm in showbiz that's led me to meet so many shrews and assholes. I really can't say one way or the other.
I wish I could say how this developed as a topic. I don't know, and I'm writing the thing. But they're points. Valid ones, in my view.
Any thoughts? Comments?
Today, it's a woman. A striking, memorable woman whom I have seen only once, and spoke to for a few minutes at the most. Yet, here she is, popping up.
I think the fact that I don't know her in person is what prompted this particular flashback. Not really knowing her allows me to analyze a bit. I find a topic ready to ponder behind her arrival.
What is it about extremely attractive members of the opposite sex that drives us bazonkers? Or members of our own sex, if our preference leans that way? It's not something we learn how to process, unlike math or logic or reading. Once puberty hits, it just kicks in. It's a part of the animal psyche that says "Stay close to her."
Yes, but why? It could be any of a number of things. Let's go with the model (ba dum ching?) at hand. This woman was very attractive. Long, curly black locks (not dark brown, black). Cool blue eyes and a warm smile. Creamy skin. Great chest, but a slender figure without being waifish... The woman was healthy. Certainly not one of the near-skeletal supermodels that haunt teen magazines.
Okay. She's attractive. What are the immediate impulses? #1: Gauge woman's physical attributes in less than a second. (It happens. We're guys. We do that.) Check. #2: Check to see if she's married. BINGO. Nice little bauble she's got on her left hand ring finger... well. No point in going to impulse #3.
Beauty is 'important' for a number of reasons. First on the list, it implies health. The better you look, the better shape you're in. The instinct to procreate and have kids, healthy kids, is primal. Finding and identifying positive traits we'd like our children to carry on is one of the main reasons human beings interact in the first place. (It's also why us funny, intelligent people who aren't exactly hard-bodies get to be attractive too, in different ways.)
Another reason it's so important is social standing. Ooh, look at the girlfriend/wife of Bob. Bob's girlfriend/wife is a knock-out. Oh, I wish I were Bob. People would have more respect for me if my girlfriend/wife was that attractive. Why? Because I must be worth something special to have attracted her in the first place. On a half-way related topic, that level of excellence (here accomplished only with a social connection) is a major driving force of motivation for us. To seek that level of excellence for ourselves, in our actions, in our accomplishments, in our prestige. Or, it might just be a motivator for people with low self-esteem. Ya think?
The last (and possibly greatest) factor in the importance of beauty is sex. Not procreation, but gratifying-as-a-drug sex. Sex is a drug, insomuch that it's a temporary positive reaction in the pleasure-center of the brain caused by outside stimulation. Rather than with a needle, a pill, or a glass, it's a drug we provide ourselves with by finding other people to make our own supply with.
Don't believe me? Look at the last time you really wanted it. What did you do to get it? Were you having the equivalent of a nic-fit? Or were you just (pardon the term) jonesing? But sex can also be a healthy, intimate way to express affection for someone you care deeply about. Doesn't make it feel any less good, though. Just a thought...
There is a down-side to beauty, one that frankly drives me up the wall. A person's beauty can somehow make them think they've got cart blanche. They can act like complete assholes or shrews, and get away with it because they're attractive, which might make people more inclined to forgive or ignore their behavior. Or worse, encourage it.
Now, this is not an absolute. I've known several people of considerable beauty who never used it as a tool or an advantage. But these people are out there. Maybe it's that I'm in showbiz that's led me to meet so many shrews and assholes. I really can't say one way or the other.
I wish I could say how this developed as a topic. I don't know, and I'm writing the thing. But they're points. Valid ones, in my view.
Any thoughts? Comments?
posted by Casey Jones @ 12/15/2004 02:10:00 PM
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