Mental Flotsam, Mental Jetsam

Because the only thing that beats going crazy is going crazy with somebody else

Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Metro: Where The Crazy People Live


It's been a long day. Good one, but long. I saw Shenandoah at Ford's Theatre today with Jeff, Steve, Kevin, and Robin; folks all from Assassins. Good times. The dancing was outstanding, the music was great, the set was phenomenal. Scott Bakula played the lead, a part that was well-suited for him. After the show we agreed that his performance was in fact ScottBakular. When spectacular simply won't do; and it's in regards to your favorite Quantum Leaper, use ScottBakular. He'd want it that way.

The Metro afforded not one, but two completely jarring surprises. On the way to the show, the entire train was far too privy to a man playing with himself in broad daylight. At the station. What? I'm sorry, what?!

On the ride back, a young woman asked what station was next. Smiling politely, I answered, "Union Station". She took one look at me and said, "You look like someone who could kill everyone on this train."

Me. Wearing a suit, tie, and ever-present fedora. Being helpful by answering a question. I'm the guy who could take out a Metro car. I took a second on hearing this, and replied, "I'm sorry?" She gave me another look and said she was just voicing her mind. Before I could come back with anything, the train stopped and she got off. Union Station. Her stop.

After she left, some of the other passengers joked to get past the awkward moment. I shook my head and said, "Man. Someone thinks I could just flip out at random on complete strangers? That makes me so mad I could just..." They laughed. But it was a nervous, "Oh please let him be kidding" laugh.

Just the night before, a guy stormed onto the train, violently shouting obscenities into his cell phone, calling someone (evidently trying to get him in touch with his daughter) a dumbass, and worse. Repeatedly. And still, I'm the one thought to be capable of going apeshit.

Uh huh. O-kay.

Somebody stop this crazy thing. I wanna get off.


  • At 11:13 PM, Blogger Daphne Supergirl said…

    Do you think it's possible that folks these days find fedoras generally disarming for some reason? Some people just can't handle great hats.

  • At 11:16 PM, Blogger Casey Jones said…

    She does make a very good point.

  • At 8:52 AM, Blogger Jay said…

    Maybe you were channeling Sam Byck again! ;-)

  • At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Jeff said…

    I would have given you another dollar if I'd been there to see you say, with the most friendly smile possible, "And YOU look like the person I'd start with!".

  • At 12:29 PM, Blogger mr.stinkhead said…

    One time I was riding on the metro with Sutter who had a kind of faux-hawk hair cut, and the one lady shook her head and told us she felt sorry for his mom.

    We broke her ankles.

    JUST KIDDING! Happiness and sunshine!!

  • At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Green Eyed Lady said…

    Yeah, that's one thing I really don't miss about working in Chevy Chase...I got to have an hour and a half of that twice a day. It really is astonishing how many freaks there are in our lovely sitting.

    And dare I ask what happened to the dude who was committing lewd acts in public?

  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger Casey Jones said…

    Um... he just kept doing what he was doing. At one point he noticed people were shrieking (they were teenaged girls, contain your shock) and ambled off.

    Didn't stop him, though. Um.

    Doors closing.

  • At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Jeff said…

    I guess they need to add "No Masterbation" to the "No Eating, No Drinking, No Smoking, No Listening to Music Players (without headphone attachment)" signs.

  • At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I dunno Casey - maybe it's your beady little eyes... and I think this woman saw you Rage Against the Machine in "Assassins"...



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