The Metro: Where The Crazy People Live

Evenin'.

It's been a long day. Good one, but long. I saw Shenandoah at Ford's Theatre today with Jeff, Steve, Kevin, and Robin; folks all from Assassins. Good times. The dancing was outstanding, the music was great, the set was phenomenal. Scott Bakula played the lead, a part that was well-suited for him. After the show we agreed that his performance was in fact ScottBakular. When spectacular simply won't do; and it's in regards to your favorite Quantum Leaper, use ScottBakular. He'd want it that way.

The Metro afforded not one, but two completely jarring surprises. On the way to the show, the entire train was far too privy to a man playing with himself in broad daylight. At the station. What? I'm sorry, what?!

On the ride back, a young woman asked what station was next. Smiling politely, I answered, "Union Station". She took one look at me and said, "You look like someone who could kill everyone on this train."

Me. Wearing a suit, tie, and ever-present fedora. Being helpful by answering a question. I'm the guy who could take out a Metro car. I took a second on hearing this, and replied, "I'm sorry?" She gave me another look and said she was just voicing her mind. Before I could come back with anything, the train stopped and she got off. Union Station. Her stop.

After she left, some of the other passengers joked to get past the awkward moment. I shook my head and said, "Man. Someone thinks I could just flip out at random on complete strangers? That makes me so mad I could just..." They laughed. But it was a nervous, "Oh please let him be kidding" laugh.

Just the night before, a guy stormed onto the train, violently shouting obscenities into his cell phone, calling someone (evidently trying to get him in touch with his daughter) a dumbass, and worse. Repeatedly. And still, I'm the one thought to be capable of going apeshit.

Uh huh. O-kay.

Somebody stop this crazy thing. I wanna get off.