Fake News, And News I Wish Were Fake

I love The Onion. Lately they've been in top form. Heck, see for yourself.

'Archeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race of Skeleton People'.

'Funny Monkey Tested On.'

'Army of Identical Scientists Demands Legislative Support For Cloning.'

'Muslims Discover Virginity Restoration Surgery.'

Wait, what was that last one again? Yeah. That's actually genuine. I know we're supposed to be tolerant of other societies. Still-- having read the article, it sounds (for lack of better words) really stupid.

For Example...

Growing up, we figure out what we want to do, one of two ways: We find what we're good at, or we find what we'd like to be good at-- by following example. "That looks fun." "Man that looks neat. Wish I could do that." And we try. We try again. And again.

I learned early that I had no artistic skill whatsoever. Took a few months of drawing classes to confirm what I knew in advance-- I just didn't have it. Growing up, my brother could doodle drawings that were truly cool. Now he makes his living in images-- specifically graphic design.

It was at a restaurant: Andy started sketching on a paper knapkin; and profusely jealous, I did the only other thing I knew how to do with a pen and paper: I started writing. This was no later than fifth grade.

Now, I make my living by editing. English is my bitch. I've touched up medical text, and my first comic book is going to be published in the coming weeks and months. And I never would've gone down this road if I could draw worth a damn.

Thanks, bro.

Petrificus Totalus!

Had another improv show tonight (which went splendidly by the way, more on that in a sec), but the highlight of the evening was my first NY celebrity sighting: Alan Rickman.

Alan Freaking Rickman, walking down the street like a regular joe w/ his wife (I presume). I recognized him on the spot, and I completely froze. "Holy shit! It's Alan Rickman!" He kept on walking. I didn't ask him for an autograph, I didn't say I'm a huge fan of his work; I said nothing. I was completely dumbstruck for a good ten seconds, and by that time they were gone.

Was this a good thing? Probably. Nobody likes to be bothered when they're headed someplace. But still. Alan Rickman. Awesome.

The show went swimmingly. There were some very good moments, including some physical comedy. Kevin jumped into my arms, (don't ask) at which point the director of the game called "Freeze!", at which point he and his counterpoint discussed how the plot was going. I held Kevin for what was probably a good minute or two; and the audience cracked up because it was taking an effort. Good times.

Be well, folks!

Where's My Head?? Congratulations!!

I've committed a serious foul-- I've neglected to share a report of happy news; namely on the behalf of McCall and Brian, the Newlyweds! They were married this weekend.

Best wishes, guys. Cheers!

Find That Package Boy!

**Heroes Spoilers Below**

Saw the new episode of Heroes and gotta say, I enjoyed it. Lots of new interestin' developments. If any of you are big fans and have not yet read Watchmen, go read it. Seriously. The references to it are impressive.

Specifically? The notion that the destruction of half of New York could be a good thing.

Three things real quick-- Linderman's acquired the techno-wizkid Micah. The only reason why that I can think of would be to fix the elections? The counting will be done on computers, and the boy's proven he can do pretty much anything he puts his mind to when it comes to technology.

Thing #2-- Isaac (rest in peace) was confident that he had told the good guys how to defeat Sylar once and for all. We haven't seen any paintings at all to suggest anything of the kind. What we did see was Isaac handing his sketchbook to a package boy who's confessed to being a big fan of his work. We don't know what else is in that sketchbook. Deliver us, Package Boy!

Thing #3-- A time traveler's best friend may turn out to be himself. Hiro encounters a future version of himself, sword drawn, at the episode's climax. Ever read The Time Traveler's Wife? It's one of my all time favorites. One of the best scenes takes place in a museum, in which Harry DeTamble takes his five year old self on a tour, after-hours. Over the years, he teaches himself how to fight, how to pick locks and other handy skills for the person occasionally-naked-in-middle-of-nowhere. The definition of self-taught.

Anway. Very cool ep, very cool stuff. Neat.

On Life In The Big Apple

I've been here about four and a half months now, and am feeling more at home. I've started working with an improv group and making friends; I work from home and I'm becoming a decent cook. (Decent, not super. It really helps that I've discovered pre-seasoned courses/entrees. Much easier and tastier than starting completely from scratch.) Tonight I managed a pot roast that was pretty darn good. Woo-hoo!

After four months of dismal/meager results on singlesnet.com, I've decided to step it up a notch and joined EHarmony.com. Half the notes I received on Singlesnet.com were from women who wanted me to sign up for streaming video (ew), and four out of the remaining five lived in other states or countries. Thanks but no thanks.

It's been refreshing to start contacting women with whom I actually have things in common. We'll see where it goes.

I hope you folks have a terrific evening, or at least a good night's rest. Sweet dreams.

Forget It Nick, It's *Sandford*

I saw Hot Fuzz tonight w/ Jeannie, Rob and co.

It. Was. Fantastic. If I was a fan of Simon Pegg before; due to Shaun of the Dead, I am officially in awe. This movie was spectacular fun.

Go see it. Go see it. Go see it.

Hah. No Seriously, HAH.

I love Shortpacked. It's one of the most consistently-funny strips on the interwebs; and todays is no exception. The cartoonist, David Willis, has a talent for picking on conventions his audience knows and loves. Like Star Wars.

Or Batman. I've been a huge fan of the original animated series since it premiered ages ago, and Willis has demonstrated no shortage of love for it himself, in his razor-sharp parodies. It's just funny.

'Nuff said.

...

By now, everyone's heard about what happened at Virginia Tech, this morning. I'm at a loss for words.

Where does the anger necessary for this kind of violence come from? The gunman reportedly said nothing, as far as I know. No screaming, no tirades, no shouts of victory or release. What could possess someone to murder so many people?

Virginia Tech is no small school. He couldn't have known them all personally, could he?

I don't understand it. Part of me is glad that I don't understand it.

I just don't get it.

Well, *That* Was Fun

I've been living in New York for a few months now; and prior to last night had not really gone out of my way to enjoy the fare she had to offer. Which isn't to say I haven't seen some sites or eaten some great meals; they were just at the behest of whoever I was with at the time. To the tune of "I love this place" or "You mean you haven't been [there] yet??" You get the picture.

Well, last night I put an end to that, boy howdy. I cracked open my NFT and started looking for some fun places to go.

In a planning coup, both my stops last night were next door to each other: namely the Post House and Club Macanudo. The Post House has some great steak, and a wine list that would make your jaw drop. I had the sirloin and a glass or two of a very nice cabernet.

Followed that up with one of the only cigar-friendly bars in Manhattan. (By some loophole, the place can have smokers indoors if the cigars represent 20% of the house's income. Go figure.) Sippin' martinis and chompin' on some Excalibur II's; I chatted with a cigar newbie, a drunken Brit with bad credit and an older couple from Georgia. This was fun. A lot of fun. It was one of those moments of "Ah, I needed this" that I didn't realize I needed until I was there.

Still. A great, great night. Shucks, maybe next time there'll be someone to tag along!

Thoughts, Comments?

Don Imus was fired. His nationally syndicated program, Imus In The Morning was cancelled effective immediately, this morning. Don Imus was fired.

Now, I don't listen to Don Imus. I'm no great fan of his. I'm more interested in the fact that the man was fired from a job he's held for decades; over one sentence.

In the past, he's jokingly referred to himself on the air as "racist, senile, stupid and lame." It's his 'bit' as much as Howard Stern's is being horny 24/7. I'm not suggesting he isn't racist, senile, stupid and lame; but at least he cops to it and people should know what to expect if they're going to listen to his show.

Was what he said inappropriate? Yeah. Should there have been repercussions? Yeah. He apologized to the team he offended. I don't know if that was necessarily 'enough', but I don't think he should have lost his job over it.

Does that make me racially insensitive? I can't say. I'm just me. But I'd love to hear some thoughts on this whole thing.

Have You Seen This? I Mean Have You *Seen This*?

Google Earth. Seriously. This thing is fascinating. Freaking fascinating. I can see my house from here!

While We're On The Subject

I've listened to the closing theme of Heroes a few times now. It's a unique bit of music, especially for something only 33 seconds long. This not being the first time I've analyzed super hero music, let's get going.

If I had to sum it up? "Strange little steps." Something punctuating each beat that could be an oboe or a bass clarinet, matched w/ a xylophone. Who knows. In any case, on synthesizer is a number of chords which start out dissonant but end up in harmony.

Gee. Small, interesting steps leading to a resolution in which previous segments are brought together to resolve nicely together. One can only hope that that's what they have in mind for the season finale'. In any case, it's a damn appropriate capper to a consistently splendid show.

'Nuff said.

To Nitpick...

I've been watching old episodes of Heroes online, as NBC has been kind enough to put them there, free of charge.

At the end of Ep 4, Future Hiro visits Peter Petrelli in a subway car, frozen in time. He says "You look different without your scar."

This is a fairly ominous forecast, suggesting pretty directly that at some point in the future, Peter's gonna get banged up. Likely in the face, since that's all Hiro can see of him.

There's a snag, though. In a short amount of time since this visit, Peter's become very adept at using the skills he's borrowed; compared by someone else to "a rolodex of cards to flip through" (I'm paraphrasing). One of those is the ability to heal from grievous injury. Instantly.

The writers have claimed that they have plot outlines for the next five years. How does someone who knows how to recover from deadly wounds in a matter of seconds get a scar?

*Although*

And this occurs to me on the fly; if Hiro is coming to Peter from the future, a future perhaps when he didn't 'save the cheerleader', he might never have spent enough time with her to acquire/copy/whatever her power in the first place. Without which, any big bad bang-up would have left a serious scar or two.

Okay, nitpick rescinded. The writers are still brilliant. HAH.

What? I'm Sorry, What?!

I heard about a certain news item. This is not a joke. This is not a gag. I'm stunned.

How did we come to this?

Woot!

This afternoon, I have my first rehearsal with the improv team Eight Is Never Enough. They perform at venues all over the place, including the Laugh Factory, off Broadway.

Yeah. Sweet.

It's on.

Happy Birthday, Heather!

For your consideration: Heather, born six months after me, to the day. We've been friends, chums and confidantes for over a decade. It's been a good run and continues to be. She introduced me to Deadwood, a program with no shortage of fine dialogue and coarse f*ckin' language.

In any case. Today's her birthday, and I am made the happier for it. She rocks, she rocks, she rocks. I hope she's enjoying herself. Cheers, folks.

This Comes As No Surprise

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Musician
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_be_your_nerd_type">What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quizzes for MySpace

It's The First Of The Month

Bunny, Bunny.