Attention Must Be Paid

I'd like to make this blog more positive. Frankly, I've had enough of the gloom and doom (although circumstances haven't changed). Anyway.

I want to talk about my aunt. My mother's sister, Riggin.

She's a writer. She's published her own work. She's worked for thirty years in various fields and done everything she needed. But she's worked. She's stayed employed. Outside of a cubicle.

She's made it work.

My Aunt Riggin has been a huge inspiration to me. She's brave, employed and all-around fantastic. I can only hope to live up to her standard. Seriously.

She's proven that a lifestyle off the beaten path can work. She gives me hope. I have no reason to believe it's possible other than that she's blazed this trail ahead of me. I can use all the hope I can get. For that, I'm grateful.

Very much so.

What Do You Do?

No-one likes getting the brush off.

I don't know how else to describe it. I moved to NYC, and got in touch with a friend that I hadn't seen in years. I thought we'd gotten off to a good start-- I helped her out with her voice-over demo. I'd had dinner with a her and her boyfriend a few times.

They haven't returned a phone call in the past two months. They didn't make it to YBM. I don't get it. I don't get what changed. I don't get at what point I wasn't worth calling back.

Anyway. I'm aware that I have a history of putting too much stock in what others think. You take up acting and writing, two lines of work that involve putting yourself 'out there', and see how easy it is.

So. I left a final phone message, wishing her a happy Thanksgiving. I don't expect to hear back. I'm finished with one-sided friendships, or whatever.

Anyway. There that is.

Oh-- and tonight, I officially made my first pie. Bought the ingredients, did all the mixing, even burned my hand getting it out of the oven. Hopefully it'll be a welcome surprise at tomorrow's family get-together.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks. Ciao for now.

Poor, Poor, Poor James Marsden

It hasn't gotten any easier for him. Seriously. It's just laughable. When's the last time Mr. Marsden played a guy that could hold on to his girl?

The reason I'm bringing this up: Enchanted. The new Disney flick in which he literally plays Prince Charming-- only to have to compete with Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy.

Marsden's screwed.

Dude needs some karmic payback. Dude needs a movie (or a trilogy at this point) where he goes around stealing women's hearts left and right. Poor typecast bastard.

Well.

Thursday is Thanksgiving. Forgive the cliche' but at the moment I'm having difficulty in listing things to be thankful.

I have my health. I have a roof over my head. My family and loved ones can say the same.

I don't have a job. I don't know where my next check is coming from. My transcribing job, while welcome, remains sporadic as ever. I wouldn't mind being able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, either.

I'm going to keep going; there really isn't any alternative. I'm calling the temp agency again in the morning (to ask about the next week), and I'm dropping off a headshot/resume' at a restaurant in Manhattan that, believe it or not, could fast-track me to an Actor's Equity card.

Please keep me in your prayers. I haven't the foggiest idea of what's coming next.

Cripes.

It's nearly 3, and I can't sleep. I've had two cups of Sleepy Time tea, and so far, nothin'.

Since I'm up, I've decided to get a bit of work done. Namely, on my next Character Demo. When last I was in the booth; my teacher strongly suggested that it was supposed to sound like it was plucked off the air-- like it was on TV or the radio.

I've started writing some material that will use a variety of voices in different situations. The so-called tricky part will be to blend in sound effects and background music, but that's nothing I haven't done before.

The real challenge will be picking out voices that sound nothing like each other, or like me for that matter. It needs to be a diverse mix, each part lasting long enough to establish that I can keep the voices consistent. Also I'm trying to work on giving them some life; allow them to be less flat. Range, people. Range.

I'd much rather be catching forty winks. But since that's not an option at the moment, I might as wellZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yesterday.

What follows is... personal, but it still happened and I promised myself when I started this blog I'd report the good things and the bad. This thing is supposed to be about my life. Right?

Yesterday concluded with one of the most frightening experiences of my life. Everything turned out to be okay, but until it was over-- I was going out of my head.

I started going to the gym last week; spending as much time on the exercise bike as anything else. I felt a bit of pain in my groin, and figured it was just... I don't know. It went away on its own. Then it happened again, after the next two gym visits.

Last night I found a lump. I know men are supposed to do regular checks for anything abnormal; but before last night I didn't take it those exams seriously. I did some online research, and jumped in the shower and checked again to be sure. There was definitely something present.

I called my family, and went to the emergency room, sick with worry. My brother wisely advised me not to get ahead of myself, and I tried not to; but it's one thing to hear advice and another to put it to practical use. I was flipping out.

The doctor checked (not a comfortable experience) and believed it was just an inflammation, something called epididymitis. A sonogram confirmed his theory, along with a cyst. Again, not a fun way to kill time.

I made another round of calls to let people know it was nothing that a regimen of antibiotics can't cure. I picked up the prescription this afternoon and will start taking those tomorrow morning. In addition to curing what ails ya, they can also cause diarrhea. Won't that be fun.

It's over now; but I distinctly remember what I was so afraid of. The big 'C'. I started to worry about whether or not I'd ever be able to have kids as a result. I tried not to let those thoughts get too out of hand, but it was still there.

Anyway. One hell of a night.

The Last Day...

The last twenty-four hours have been completely bizarre. I went to church group last night, and from out of nowhere I found myself completely overwhelmed by feelings for someone I haven't seen in a long time. I left early because of it; I just couldn't get a handle on things.

There was no prompting. She hasn't been in my thoughts for a while and then, with no warning, bam. I missed her more than ever.

I wandered through a bookstore for a while, then came home. I called some friends and tried to talk things out; which helped somewhat. Regardless, it affected my sleep.

I overslept this morning, and was fired as a result.

Fired. It was a temp job at Random House that I was thoroughly enjoying. Hot and cold running books. Quality coffee. I was making a friend or two in the workplace. All gone.

Granted-- the job was only going to last to the end of the week anyway; but this is hardly how I wanted to end my time there. This is a black mark on my record with the temp agency; for certain. I'm not sure what's going to happen next. I sent apology emails to all the appropriate people. Tomorrow I'm going to give the temp agency another call and find out what's what.

In the meantime; I have transcribing to do. It's good work for solid pay; but... this has been a completely bizarre and bad twenty-four hours. I have no idea what catalyzed it.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. In any case, I'm still going to the gym tonight. No reason not to.

I screwed up.

There's The Dark Side, And Then There's The DARK SIDE

I have no words. This is quite simply, brilliant.

Woo Hoo!

Back to the gym this afternoon, following a nice lunch-date with Denise, courtesy of EHarmony. They may start earning their keep, after all.

The gym was good. I think I pulled something on my left foot over the last few days, and the top of my foot hurt like the dickens. How I stretched that particular area is beyond me, but I know better than to push things. So instead of the treadmill, I spent half an hour burning calories (and clocking 13 miles) on the cycle. After that, a few arm and shoulder weight machines got some attention.

Frankly, I'm a bit tired. But it's a good tired. I need to keep this going...

Now I'm just relaxin' with some light writing and oh, fun a plenty, doing the dishes and recycling later. If I had one of those little party noisemakers, this would be where I blew it.

Ciao for now, folks.

Weighing In On The Issue

Okay. I am not going to pretend to have all the facts regarding the Writer's Guild strike-- but I know the basics. They want more money for the explosion of new residuals-- thanks to Tivo and TV/Movies being available on Ipods, phones, etc. That sounds pretty fair.

The Hollywood moguls don't want to budge. So any minute now, the WGA is going on strike.

Sorry bunch of ingrates.

I respect that they're brandishing the only weapon they have, the strike itself, but honestly? Do they know how lucky they are to be employed in the first place?

I would give my eyeteeth for a professional writing job-- let alone one in such a lucrative market.

I've tried getting my foot in that particular door in the past (and will continue to do so in the future; it's on my to-do list), but for those already in the thick of it: friggin' appreciate where you are.

I hope this ends amicably. I hope the WGA get what they're after, they deserve it. Truly. Nevertheless, there's something in this that galls me that talented, articulate people are threatening not to do what must be their dreamjobs. There's no glory in refusing to do what you're best at. I cannot express how against-the-grain angry this makes me.

Thoughts?

Feel The Burn

Tacky title? Yes. Cliche'? Absolutely. What could Casey have done last night? He joined a gym. That's right. It's about friggin' time.

I make a decent wage (for the time being) and in a moment of feduciary excess I realized I could put said funds to use and take better care of myself at the same time. For the past few weeks, an NYSC employee has been calling, (nagging really) to see if I was still interested in signing up. I said yes, and finally last night I pushed through and did it.

New gym bag. New gym shorts. Fresh deoderant and body wash for the gym shower. New combination lock for whatever locker I use that day. (Oh, and the brand name of the lock? Kryptonite. Heh.)

I hope to lose a bit of weight, as much as anything else. I don't expect to become Charles Atlas or anything. Michael advised that people that make the gym a part of their routine, say, in the morning, are more likely to keep with it. That seems to make sense. Since my current job doesn't start 'til ten in the morning, that gives me ample time, if I were so inclined, to get up, head to the gym, work out, shower and then head in to work. The craziest part of all of this is that I could actually see myself doing it.

Wish me luck. And willpower. I'll need some of that too.